G.L.Piggy [at] gmail.com
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Democrats and progressives are easy to please. Their threshold for giving props to members of their clan has about the same elevation as the high jump bar at the Special Olympics.
They’re going wild over the prank call made by Ian Murphy of The Buffalo Beast to Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker in which Murphy pretended to be libertarian billionaire David Koch. Because being tricked by someone who is trying really hard to trick you is the mark of lameness which decreases credibility to the hip prog set. Media outlets are saying that the Governor has been punk’d – a euphemism that refers to the popular MTV show where Ashton Kutcher went around pulling pranks on his celebrity friends. Andrew Sullivan at The Atlantic is saying that Walker got “Pwned” (because Sullivan had to be cool and use something other than punk’d but still with a ‘P’).
The prank calls in question:
But the Dem-progs are lame. Murphy especially. He mostly got lucky that Walker has a lot to talk about because the questions he poses to the Governor could have used a little meat. He leaves room for a lot of dead air and uses the phrase “Beautiful” six times and “God damn right” three times in lieu of questions that could have actually set Walker up for failure (ask him why he didn’t want to include police and fire fighters in his union busting).
During a TV appearance, Murphy looked even more lame than MSNBC host Lawrence O’Donnell. Murphy responds to poignant questions about Walker’s political intentions that could have fostered interesting debate with a “basically, yeah” and an “I think he’s just oblivious…generally. It didn’t surprise me.” No discussion, no argument, no point. Just opinion and non-elegant answers mixed with spunk, bite, and irony-pondering chin scrunching.
But that’s always been the tactic of liberals – style over substance. For them, ideology is more about image. It’s about making your opponent look uncool or pointing out that he got bad grades in college. This is why snark and irony play so well for hipster-dipster Douchocrats. Snark and irony are status signals for them. You win points for being the coolest guy who hates the world.
The tactic – to show the governor as square and unhip – is shrewd in re-establishing the stereotype of the stiff conservative who isn’t aware enough to see through this ruse. “Oh my God can you believe this guy…HE THOUGHT SNIPE WAS SKYPE.” By doing so, the progressive purveyors of cool convince the unwashed masses that whatever is coming out of Walker’s mouth is stiff ergo wrong ergo evil. This is what our culture values now over anything else: looking cool, not being tricked. Sadly, those vectors are often diametrically opposed.
The lamest part of this whole prank is the self-congratulating going on as if Murphy siphoned information from Walker that he hadn’t already laid out to the public before. Since Walker’s comments to Murphy mostly reiterated what he’s been saying to the media all along (with barely any added color), their jubilation at setting up Walker is like being excited to be the 6th participant in a gang bang. High five loser. Now go wash your dick.
If you read the MSM transcripts of this prank rather than listening to the actual call, you come away with a different interpretation (something I suspect that the MSM is counting on.) It is important to remember something that the Democrats don’t consider – something that indicates that they are the ones who’ve been Punk’d. They buy into Murphy’s characterization of David Koch. They assume that the fake guy they’re hearing on the phone is actually Koch himself and they therefore rationalize Walker’s answers as if he were saying them to the Koch of their now biased imaginations. In essence, Murphy has played a giant trick on Democrats, but Murphy is too stupid to realize it.
Here are the sticking points that various commenters are citing as evidence that Scott Walker’s motives are nefarious.
1. Democrats and liberals are arguing that Walker may have engaged in ethics violations when “Koch” offered to “fly [Walker] out to Cali to show [him] a good time” to which Walker said “That would be outstanding.”
Listeners have been hedged in to believing that Koch would have nefarious motives for this offer. But if Koch is actually not as he’s portrayed by the prankster Murphy and is actually an above-the-board guy, and if Walker knows that, then Walker wouldn’t have read the same motives into “Koch’s” comments that dem-progs have.
Commenter Rum over at Ferdinand Bardamu’s site makes a good point:
Reality Check: When a major donor calls, every politician alive, regardless of party, 1. takes the call and 2. Pretends he didn’t hear the stupid comments the rich donor makes, 3. Feeds them scraps of insider-like information to fluff their ego, 4. Reaffirms in a general, hard to pin down way the deep kinship of beliefs and goals they share. 5. Why should I go on?
2. ”Koch” tries to goad Walker by saying that maybe they should bring “hobos” in to counterprotest.
Walker rebuffed this by saying that it is legal for organizers to pay protestors to come in and demonstrate. Later he says, of union activists, “let them protest all they want.” He’s a fan of the democratic process which is why he believes that the absconding Democratic legislators are shirking their responsibility like a pack of bitches.
3. ”Koch” suggests that it might be a good idea to plant “trouble makers”
After stumbling, Walker said “we thought of that” but then decided against it because it would make them look desperate. This is where Walker made the statement about letting the union people protest. Invoke Rum’s comment above. It would also be dishonest of anyone to claim that any politician doesn’t brainstorm and consider all sorts of political tactics. The takeaway here is that Walker decided against using trouble-makers.
4. ”Koch” suggests that Walker use a baseball bat to deal with Democratic state legislators if they step back into legislative chambers. Walker laughs and says that he has a bat with his name on it.
Dem-progs are running wild trying to make hay out of this one. But if they actually believe that Walker would show up in the legislative chamber and wield his Louisville Slugger, they don’t really understand politics or rhetoric that well. Under the guise of privacy, people talk like this all the time. I’m especially reminded of Jesse Jackson uttering into a hot mic that somebody should cut Barack Obama’s nuts off.
5. Walker suggesting that Democratic legislator Tim Cullen was “not one of us”.
Because he is a Democrat, Cullen is not of Walker and real-Koch’s ideological mindset. The Kochs openly donated money to Governor Walker’s election campaign. Their cabal was so well-hidden that their donations were made behind the guise of an outfit called “Koch Industries PAC”. These mysterious and unknown donors gave a whopping $43,000 directly to Walker and funneled another $1 million to the Republican Governors Association of which $65,000 went to Walker.
All donations were made within the limits of the campaign finance guidelines.
Walker’s “one of us” wink towards “Koch” is the political version of Jesus talking to the Pope. Koch and Walker are two peas in the same ideological pod. One feature of the Kochs that is more important than their money (but, granted, due to their money) is that they are ideological torchbearers for libertarians and free-market conservatives. They are respected more for what they are doing for the cause than the money they donate. Being of the same ideological frame of mind, Cullen is obviously not one of them. Do you think the Democratic legislators are sitting around in their hotel outside of Rockdale, Illinois pretending that Walker and the Republicans are one of their group? No, they’re probably watching porn.
6. ”Koch” makes a remark about MSNBC analyst Mika Brzezenski trying to get Walker to take the bait. At the Buffalo Beast, Murphy relays the transcript:
Koch: Beautiful; beautiful. You gotta love that Mika Brzezinski; she’s a real piece of ass.
Walker: Oh yeah. [story about when he hung out with human pig Jim Sensenbrenner at some D.C. function and he was sitting next to Brzezinski and her father, and their guest was David Axelrod. He introduced himself.]
But when you listen to the tape itself, Walker says “Oh yeah” before “Koch” says the sexualized part which Walker actually ends up speaking over. This is a minor point, but it shows the lengths to which Murphy and Dem-Progs will go to assassinate the character of any politician who opposes them.
But peep this final exchange between Gov. Walker and the prankster because it is most important. It shows that Walker is a man of principle and not out for undue power or profit. Unfortunately, the Buffalo Beast’s transcript of the conversation actually places the word “blah” over the most important part of the whole conversation:
Scott Walker: Thanks for all the support in helping us move the cause forward. We appreciate it, and we’re doing the just and right thing for the right reasons and it’s all about getting our freedom back.
David Koch (Ian Murphy): Absolutely. And you know we have a bit of a vested interest as well. Ha!
Walker (the part Murphy “blah’d” over): Well that’s just it. We’re going to get the world moving here because it’s the right thing to do.
Every anti-Walker news agency left this important passage out. Most cut it off after “Koch’s” comment about his “vested interest” as a way to somehow implicate Walker (remember, Murphy had already fooled everyone by his characterization of David Koch.)
Walker’s closing passage is so important because it shows that he is fighting for his principles – for what he believes in. Ian Murphy, tries really really hard to get Walker to say something compromising or stupid, but he never succeeds. The stink of lameness hangs over Murphy like a cloud of 6 a.m. sleep fart because he did try so very hard to set Walker up. But he ultimately failed. Whether you agree with him or not, Gov. Walker is battling public unions because he thinks it is objectively and morally correct. And that’s it.
After Murphy failed, he edited his website to ignore the most salient part of the whole conversation. And because he did that, the Lamestreamers followed suit. And finally, Democrats show themselves to be the true punks because they get so worked up and congratulatory because one of theirs for merely tried something so brazen as calling up a state governor at the center of a national political storm (No way, duuude, I can’t believe you did that. Props). Give them their gold star. Their gold medal. Their pat on the pack. Ruffle the young man’s hair. Even though he failed, Murphy tried. And that’s all that really matters, right?