G.L.Piggy [at] gmail.com
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Hugo Schwyzer, many of his commenters, and feminists like Amanda Marcotte continue to attack the MRA strawman position in what Schwyzer is now narcissistically calling “Spermgate”. Note to Schwyzer: you can’t affix “gate” to your own scandal. Others have to do that for you. That’s like buying yourself a “World’s Greatest Dad” t-shirt – something you’ve probably done as well.
I’ve always found it funny that feminists who have paid academic positions and paid writing gigs at influential websites and in popular periodicals try to compare their reach to that of MRAs. Feminists point at MRAs and say that they are spouting inanity; difference is, MRA inanity is contained whereas feminist inanity is not. The stuff that MRAs are spouting, sometimes, is like a giant turd in a toilet; the stuff that Hugo Schwyzer is spouting is like a giant turd in an overflowing toilet.
He wrote in comments:
I’m not not judging Jill just because she was my friend, or because I was an addictive insecure deadbeat when she and I were sleeping together. Rather, I’m not judging her because I don’t think what she did was fundamentally wrong given the circumstances in which we all found ourselves. [GLP: So if you’re desperate for money it’s cool to defraud someone out of their life savings, or it’s cool for a man to lie to a chick about his marital status in order to get her to have sex with him.]
When Ted and I ejaculated inside of her without a condom, at that moment we were “signing on” for the consequences of what might happen. A pregnancy happened. Ted already loved Jill. Jill loved (I really do believe) Ted. I was out of the marriage/partnership picture for a host of unhappy reasons for which I take full responsibility. And so my friend Jill made the best possible decision she could make with the information she had.[GLP: As if Ted had signed a contract into perpetuity that he would always love Jill. That love, like most, was contingent on certain other factors. And Ted didn’t “sign on” to get lied to about his paternity. If we’re so fatalistic here, let’s revoke all forms of child support for men who don’t want to pay; after all, the mother was “signing on” for a menu of possibilities, one of which was to have her baby’s father abscond his CS.]
I have a theory of mind pertaining to Hugo Schwyzer. Aaron of Aaron’s Holy Mountain has one too.
It is important to remember this about Hugo Schwyzer: he hated who he was. He talks a lot about previously being an addict and a “deadbeat”. To continue down his path of sobriety – so that nothing blows up in his face – he must draw a very distinct line between the man he is now and the man he was before. So while he is willing to call his former self a “deadbeat” he won’t dare judge the woman Jill who had sex with and colluded with the same self-named deadbeat in order to defraud another man of paternity. Present-day Hugo Schwyzer maintains his own sense of virtue by respecting old-Jill’s decision. What webs we weave in order to maintain our sanity.
So Hugo will take responsibility for being “out of the marriage/partnership picture”, but that’s pretty convenient, isn’t it? He can continue to paint himself as an asshole then while being a stand-up guy now. Hugo can have it both ways, and he won’t have to sacrifice his current identity in which he has invested so much.
Schwyzer’s circumcision – which he had performed at the age of 35 – is evidence of this. As I wrote about earlier today, Schwyzer got a circumcision as a sort of gift to his fourth wife. He places so much value on the penis (does that fit feminist theory?) that he offered up his foreskin as a dowry. He wanted to give her something that no other woman had had – a newly cut schlong. To play this against feminist theory again, this is akin to a girl placing utmost importance on her virginity – a seemingly socially constructed valuation.
So there is a pattern here. Schwyzer feels the need to atone for his past behaviors. He is always trying to get over the guilt and pain he has caused to people in his life. He went so far as to get a circumcision so that he could cut the pain and guilt away.
But at the end of it, Schwyzer must protect his ego. He did something wrong with regards to this Ted fellow so he must now pretend that Ted is a non-entity in this so-called “Spermgate”. Jill is the only person whose choices matter because if Ted were granted choice that it would be obvious that Hugo had a hand in curtailing Ted’s autonomy. Which – if he were honest with himself – would make Hugo a dick. And he can’t have that.