G.L.Piggy [at] gmail.com
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NSFW picture at bottom of post.
We’ll do a GMP two-fer today. Oftentimes, their odious posts travel in pairs, like scorpions. This one is from Hugo Schwyzer. Schwyzer apparently has an affinity for butch-looking athletic-type women, and he even married a woman who turned out to be a lesbian. Keep in mind, through this post Schwyzer’s point is to fawn over lesbians.
As he tells it, Schwyzer’s relationship with his second wife Courtney exhibited signs of poor sexual chemistry from the get-go:
…though she always begged me to come quickly once I was inside of her. She assured me it was because she got sore easily, and not because she didn’t like what we were doing. I wasn’t so sure. Eventually, we developed a reliable routine: I would go down on her and masturbate myself while I did so. It was the one kind of sex for which Courtney seemed eager, and I got pretty good at timing my orgasm to hers.
I wouldn’t pick on Schwyzer specifically for this. OK, I would, but I wouldn’t feel hostility towards Schwyzer while I did it. Just pity. Resorting to masturbation during cunnilingus; a man giving to a woman and giving to himself while the woman gives nothing: it goes without saying, this is the most extreme form of supplication imaginable and should be slapped out of the head of any man who thinks that this can occur in a normal relationship. My criticism of Schwyzer is that, for all of his discussion of relationships and sexuality, he sees no room to point out that men can assert themselves to avoid this type of supplicating behavior. The Good Man Project: turning men into dildos, sperm donors, and taxpayers.
Schwyzer and his wife stopped having sex altogether two weeks into their marriage.
Court [GLP: Still the pet name after all these years] and I hiked together, rescued dogs together, volunteered together. We held hands and hugged still, but it was clear that everything else was off limits. My wife offered a series of explanations and excuses; sometimes it was that she was too tired or stressed, other times it was that I had been “mean” or inattentive in some way. As in love with her as I still was, I assumed she was telling the truth. Eventually, it just became easier not to try. We joined the ranks of the sexless and married.
Lying, dishonesty, and emotional manipulation, but still no cue from Schwyzer – a relatively influential commentator on these matters – that a man should identify any of this behavior as a problem and then address it. This is the ultimate danger of a man with a gynocentric worldview. Everything is framed in terms of the woman; the woman’s needs come first and anything a man might want is secondary and usually goes unaddressed.
But twenty months into their sexless marriage, after a great welling of anger and hostility, Schwyzer capitulated:
I went back to drugs in the hope that that might show her how much pain I was in, particularly over the sexless state of our marriage. Court insisted I move out. I rented a room in a sober living boarding house, and soon began an affair with a housemate. After more than a year and a half of fidelity, I cheated with a woman who made it clear she wanted me. It was a cowardly, but understandable, way to get back at Courtney. I told my wife what I’d done, and she instantly demanded a divorce.
The point of the post, remember, is that Schwyzer has an affinity for dyke-y looking chicks. Despite so much meat in this story, Schwyzer provides no succor to men who may find themselves in such a marriage even though giving succor to the afflicted is Schwyzer’s stock-and-trade. So the ultimate criticism here is that Schwyzer, who holds himself up as some fiduciary of sexual and emotional justice, ignores a much larger and more important point about men and their sexuality to fawn over the masculinized feminine. All of this gets Schwyzer browny points among the people who are most crucial to fluffing his ego – Riot Grrls and Dworkin-schooled fem-bots.
All of this reminds us that “Good Men Project” is a pretty good title for that blog. The site is interested in creating these good men – good in their relations to women and children – rather than “happy men” or “content men” or “satisfied men”. Men are less useful in such states.