Women hate spreadsheets, technology, and order. That’s what I’m taking away from the latest faux-outrage over the guy in New York who methodically kept track of the women he had recently dated by using the quant component of the Microsoft Office suite. The man, who works in the finance industry in NYC, stumbled by sending the spreadsheet to a woman in whom he was interested. She then outed him to the world and his system went viral.
Jezebel called the man a creep. HuffPo insinuates that he’s a sociopath. Others have called him a cad. All of the shame jabs are reminiscent of a piece written last year on Jezebel’s cousin site Gizmodo in which a young woman openly ridiculed Magic world champion Jon Finkel after they went on a date. Her advice to men: if you’re a nerd be up front about it so women can avoid you.
Annie Karni of the New York Post pens the biggest pile in her article titled “Real men can close the deal without opening Excel“. With a lede that increases the hopes of fledgling writers everywhere, Karni writes:
Put away your calculator, you cad!
And give up logging women into an Excel spreadsheet like cold, hard sums to be measured and sized up in stark little rows.
Dating is not business. Women are not statistics. And this is no road to success.
Actually, dating is a business. This man is being labeled the “Match.com Spreadsheet guy”. And it is outfits like Match.com and OKCupid that are precisely in the business of turning daters into data. As every sane person has probably pointed out by now, people are constantly keeping track of information of data for prospective mates anyway. This is merely a case of historically internal thoughts being digitized and flashed across tens of thousands of mini
Jumbotrons. Karni continues:
All single women in New York City know but try to forget one simple truth: When you meet a “single” guy for the first time, he’s more than likely already dating multiple other women.
Karni may need to bust out a spreadsheet of her own. If every “single” guy in town is dating multiple women then this implies that every “single” gal in town is dating multiple men too. We could begin to discuss the ramifications of sex ratios, skewness, or kurtosis, but that might require us to open up a second tab on our Excel spreadsheet. And that’s hard!
The “dork” factor of this spreadsheet exceeds any and all dating horror stories — Internet or not…But Spreadsheet Guy seems to be cruising around with his light perpetually on — he slows down a little, does some profiling, choosing who to pick up.
Yes, partners should be doled out to prospective daters/maters like government cheese. Personal agency in “choosing” who to date is an affront to humanity, especially when men are choosers. This upsets the paradigm. The feminist argument penalizes men for acting on their evolved desires. People are compelled to profile and to choose, and sometimes these turn into conscious thoughts.
What lies at the heart of all of this? I’ll go deep here and make the point that women don’t understand men’s desire to put numbers and stats – which all imply the order found on an Excel spreadsheet – to the many aspects of their lives. This gets labeled commodification or objectification by the more verbally versatile i.e. women. So what does the mocking and the outrage hurled at this man tell us? That women don’t “get” men. This is a generality that applies to whomever it applies to – the commentators who have judged this guy for a very innocuous thing.
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For all intents and purposes this is exactly like the Duke co-ed who made the powerpoint ranking all of the lacrosse/baseball players that she’d fucked. Only she actually fucked all those guys andwasn’t just daiting them like Excel Guy, therefore her whore score is much higher. But I’m SURE that all of these feminazis point this out, right?…No?…What’s that you say, they called her empowered?….But she…
Fuck it, I won’t waste my breath.
The dating situation in NYC is pretty funny. Women go there to become big shots. There are millions of working class guys. But their 100 point checklists only allow them to chase Mr Big. Men can’t use spreadsheets but she can have her journals and her checklists.
The same feminists thought Duke Powerpoint Girl was “empowered.” There’s no principle here. They just don’t want to be told that men commodify them the same way they commodify men.
Their deranged rhetoric about it is pretty funny, though.
Damn, Dick Boss types faster than me!
Oh shit, I thought I was the only one.
I’d love to compare standard deviations and means with this guy, maybe check out his linear regression model and then evaluate his chick valuation method, and then finally run a little quantitative analysis for performance measurement.
The real villain in this story is the bitch Arielle who asked to see the spreadsheet, got her wish, and then forwarded it to all her friends who then sent it viral. What a fucking backstabber. In the spreadsheet, Excel Guy called this cunt “sweet; down to earth.” Boy was he wrong.
But this guy’s main problem wasn’t that he made the spreadsheet. His larger problem is that he’s a beta and the spreadsheet is just digital proof. If Alpha Guy had a spreadsheet and it were to be leaked all over the internet, he would be called alot of things- player, cad, manwhore- but he wouldn’t be called “creep.”
Another example of the disdain that women have for betas.
Ryu,
Women in New York might be holding out for a high status husband, but in the meantime they are definitely sleeping with those working class men.
So on the one hand we have a woman that intentionally tries to shame a guy by exposing him as a nerd to the world, on the other a guy being a nerd. And it’s the guy that’s supposed to be the villain?
How does not any of the writers covering this mention that his last date was a complete bitch?
It’s precisely the same as a guy who outs a woman as a slut to his friends. Both are intented to, and does, lower the victim’s value in the mating market significantly.
Dick Boss,
there’s a female commenter to one of the articles mentioning looking at a similiar spreadsheet from an ex. Apparently his number of entries was “very high” and she thought it was very sweet of him to organize good memories and faces so he could remember them.
So yeah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBVuAGFcGKY comes to mind
How did this nerd manage to get eight girlfriends?
Just out of curiosity, do you guys ever get these viral emails? No one ever sends them to me.
Love the post, but I while I think your observation is very valid I would argue that there are even more sinister forces at work as well. As GBFM on Heartiste put it (http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/04/17/the-pay-gap-is-a-lie/#comment-330617), women want “Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks”. This guy is terrifying to women because he is a Beta who may be able to arbitrage his way into “Alpha Fucks” while depriving women of “Beta Bucks”.
At work, I use our CRM software to make notes on conversations and meetings with clients. My comments are pretty innocuous, they help me recall what I discussed with whom, and when. Excel Guy’s comments are pretty also quite innocuous, excepting one reference to a hookup. Some of us get organized and keep track of stuff by writing things down — that’s creepy? Really?
The point of the mockery seems to be that he used Excel. Which is hardly better or worse for this purpose than Word, Outlook, or a dozen other apps. Excel = beta.
Excel Guy was stupid for sending the girl his file, and trusting that she would keep her word and hold it in confidence. Like lending an acquaintance $20 — you should be pleasantly surprised if you get it paid back.
People like Excel Guy should be reading Heartiste etc. That may not be the lesson that Jezebel intended to teach.
Maybe if he’d just used Powerpoint like Karen Owen did…
@ Matthew Walker
“They just don’t want to be told that men commodify them the same way they commodify men.”
And we have a winner.
He’s probably a thin, well-groomed guy who is a little dull. This would mean that he gets lots of dates from dating sites (those are mosly based on looks), but doesn’t connect with women all that well. Therefore, without knowing his intentions, it seems a rather sensible approach to view it as a challenging work project rather than projecting some romantic fantasies on how it should work.
The Duke girl was using her powerpoint to brag not learn things. His spreadsheet doesn’t seem to be the reverse.
“…doesn’t” should be “dose”.
All he did was compile a modern-day version of the “little black book” with stars next to certain names. No biggie. And natch, the girl sold him out.
I’d rather go out with Karen Owens than this guy.
Paul Janka uses a spreadsheet. He’s been called a creep a lot; even by other PUAs.
Actually, what Karen Owens did was much more obnoxious than this guy. This isn’t bad, it’s just nerdy.
Lara,
what does “nerdy” even mean anymore? i’ve been called a nerd because i can multiply two digit numbers in my head or make change almost instantaneously or because i read in public. nerd has been reclaimed by some men, to an extent, but there needs to be a harder push. i’ve taken to openly scoffing at people who rarely read or who can’t do basic math in their heads.
So maybe we should ridicule, ostracize and publicly humiliate women who go to a sperm bank and custom order a vial of spunk to make their dream child instead of rolling the dice and procreating with a real guy. What’s wrong with being selective, and/or trying to figure out who or what is the best match for you?
DMann:
great example. should have thought of it myself.
And since when is Excel “nerdy”? This guy works in finance; he wasn’t playing D&D in his basement or dressing up as a Wizard at Com-Con or something. Jeesh.
Okay, I’m being a little hard on him. It is online dating and I guess it’s easy to get girls mixed up. I don’t mind nerds, but I don’t like arrogant nerds, and he might be getting to that point. I will say, he wasn’t over judgment of their appearance, and he didn’t write anything intimate, so he seems okay.
Chuck,
If you are going to scoff at people for being dumb, what do you expect them to say back to you?
“Chuck,
If you are going to scoff at people for being dumb, what do you expect them to say back to you?”
They’ll laugh and play it off, but they’ll know…oh, they’ll know.
My dad always would say to two dumb people, “If I put a bar between your heads, I’d have a perfect dumbbell.”
Chuck: “What does “nerdy” even mean anymore? i’ve been called a nerd because i can multiply two digit numbers in my head or make change almost instantaneously or because i read in public. nerd has been reclaimed by some men, to an extent, but there needs to be a harder push. i’ve taken to openly scoffing at people who rarely read or who can’t do basic math in their heads.”
I get called nerdy all the time by a girl/friend who literally spends hours watching makeup tutorials, “haul” videos of girls purchasing makeup products, and spends tons of money on makeup products.
I’ve come to the conclusion that “nerdy” translates to, “An item or activity pursued by men that isn’t directly related to attracting or providing for women.”
Pingback: The Excel Spreadsheet Guy And His Female Equivalent « Chateau Heartiste
Oh, wow … some men *don’t* use spreadsheets (or their equivalent) to keep track of on-line dating? With such low response rates/high flake rates (and consequent need for high lead volume), however do you manage it?
If you don’t want to be treated like commodities, ladies, stay out of online marketplaces. kthxbye.
Women resist any attempt to systematize/track dating because doing so exposes inefficiencies in the system. And women are a big source of those inefficiencies.
How about this cunt here who uses a spreadsheets to screw men out of free dinners? http://www.businessinsider.com/confessions-how-she-made-1200-a-month-using-matchcom-2011-11
Empowered? Also she is using Spreadsheets which makes her smart and successful, see not only men can do math and computers!
“All single women in New York City know but try to forget one simple truth: When you meet a “single” guy for the first time, he’s more than likely already dating multiple other women.”
Is she actually saying that a man should give a woman he’s gone on a date with a “commitment” to not go on dates with other woman ? that’s some ridiculous shit.
This kind of shit is getting *really* old.
At first, feminist stupidity was mildly annoying and retarded. Easy to ignore
Then you hear it more and more, and the ability to ignore it lessens and lessens…
Now I’m sitting here wishing I had an Op-Ed at the DM Register so I could be like “BITCHES SHUT THE FUCK UP”
Yeah, Excel nerdy? He should’ve just put all the data in an NIS table and parsed it all with awk and sed.
He shoulda just made a blog for it.
Writing about adventures with the opposite sex on a blog= Socially acceptable
Writing about adventures with the opposite sex on Excel= Loser
Duhh every body knows that…
Jezebel called the man a creep.
Well if he’s a heterosexual White man it’s inevitable they would call him a creep no matter what he does.
“We could begin to discuss the ramifications of sex ratios, skewness, or kurtosis, but that might require us to open up a second tab on our Excel spreadsheet.”
hilarious
@FFY
“At first, feminist stupidity was mildly annoying and retarded. Easy to ignore
Then you hear it more and more, and the ability to ignore it lessens and lessens…”
TRUE
sometimes i feel like disconnecting entirely. part of the reason i moved to europe. but it’s here too. fuck.
“All single women in New York City know but try to forget one simple truth: When you meet a “single” guy for the first time, he’s more than likely already dating multiple other women.”
this is the apex fallacy right here. she means, “when you meet an attractive, hot, single guy who has his act together” — not when you meet a regular joe.
yes, darling, when you do meet your dream man, he is in fact probably dating other women.
girls fight each other for alpha sperm. that is what they were born to do.
and they ignore beta sperm. don’t even see it.
Pingback: More gender wars « Rivelino in Spain
Rivelino 04/21/2012 at 4:02 am
girls fight each other for alpha sperm. that is what they were born to do.
and they ignore beta sperm. don’t even see it.
Another classic example of the Beta/Omega Identity Shift.
Women have no trouble being attracted to and dating “beta males”. It’s the omegas they ignore. But typically on these sites a White male omega will show up with his homo-erotic fantasies of the all powerful alpha male and the poor pathetic beta male and the inevitable female love of the one and hate for the other.
Its other dudes who crave the alpha male as the hero of their sex nerd fantasies. Women are generally satisfied with a compatible beta. Problem is omega males aint beta and the typical White internet omega spastic couldn’t be beta anymore than he could be alpha. But he can’t admit that to himself hence the beta/omega identity shift.
The commentator Whiskey is one of the main practitioners of this self deception game.
Feminists are creepy and hypocritical. They think that the sexes are equal and that gender is nothing more than a social construct and then turn around and say that “real men” do this? Bunch of twats.
“Its other dudes who crave the alpha male as the hero of their sex nerd fantasies.”
Good point. I’m convinced this thinking lies behind the cuckold fantasies. These dudes are the same ones who sit in front of the tv watching black professional sports all day and then at night film their wives having sex with negroes (by definition not alpha). Weird.
“if you’re a nerd be up front about it so women can avoid you.”
okay I’ll pretend to be one so I can avoid these toxic women….
Well Rifleman, you can stick to your 1950′s Chuck Connors fantasies, those who have to live on Planet Earth in this reality get to experience the joys of Alpha or bust. I didn’t write or make the Alpha or bust fantasies the top FIVE selling e-books. Some woman named Erika L. James, a London TV producer, wrote ‘em and women mostly in their twenties and thirties bought them.
Yeah, women HATE HATE HATE beta males. Why? Because most women (due to the obesity epidemic, rising income, status etc) moved up while beta males moved down or sideways. Why else the stigma of “nerdy?” It wasn’t me, rather a female blogger who dumped all over some guy for being a Magic the Gathering champion. Attention from a beta male is like insulting a woman’s looks. That’s why the SNL Tom Brady-Fred Armisen skit was funny, because it was true.
I understand that in your reality, Edward Cullen was some cubicle dwelling nerd who liked baseball stats, Don Draper was some feckless schmuck, and Russell Brand looked like Rick Moranis. Denial of reality is typically a female trait, not very attractive in men.
What is really dangerous is the trading down in men and trading up in women that is happening. Alpha males (really, just guys like Brand who impress women but have nothing else) are the object of ordinary women, who end up sharing them in defacto harems with the hot chicks who marry them (example, Tiger Woods, a total zero personally but Alpha-famous). Beta males have to settle for the dregs, fatties and the like. Omega males like Breivik, One L. Goh, Cho Seung Hui, and George Soldini don’t even get the dregs, go nut(tier), and end up shooting people at random.
Just my luck, I’ll get shot by one of those lunatics while running an errand.
Let me add that what is fundamentally broken in modern Western society, the reason it is going down the toilet in hyperspeed, is because most women have been raised up and literally don’t see their male peers as mates. Even 40 years ago (the appeal of Mad Men to those women viewers and writers who LOVE the bad boy character Draper), Joe Average was somewhat above most women. He acted the same, as he did today, that’s baked into Western culture and how it treats women. But back then, it was something women liked, because just by being Joe Average, he was Alpha in relation to his female peer. Not by a whole lot, but just a little to make him attractive.
Are women happy? Not really. Most complain bitterly about the lack of “good men.” By which they mean guys with enough “Alpha” (really just social positioning) to be attractive to them. Roissy/Heartiste makes the point that it is not money or jobs that does this, particularly when women are independent, but A-hole attitude. Which most guys dare not employ around the workforce, since men resent it and WILL fight in various career-destructive ways; and generates complaints from women off the market (fat, older, etc.) Your typical Alpha is NOT a Wall Street banker, or top broker, despite those guys raking in the bucks. The guy in question created a spreadsheet which I’m sure was his tool for client management. He used the same sales approach (I’ve worked in sales, it works) for his women as his clients. And he got burned.
Who didn’t get burned? Charlie Sheen for gazillion domestic violence charges. Ditto Chris Brown. Or Russell Brand for drug use. The guy got burned because of in-congruency. Women now (they didn’t used to, most guys were “Alpha enough” because of social inequality between men and women) demand “a natural” — a guy who naturally dominates. And will cut those guys tons of slack while crucifying beta males who “fool them.” This is enormously destructive because that kind of Alpha A-hole behavior comes naturally, and can only be expressed, by guys outside of the regular workforce: artists, actors, musicians, etc. Engineers, accountants, and yes Wall Street Brokers have to get along. You pretty much create the strongest incentives there are (sex, with the most attractive and youthful women, and kids by them too) to destroy middle class society by creating a nation of Chris Browns.
@whiskeysplace
i like what you wrote.
only comment:
“Which most guys dare not employ around the workforce, since men resent it and WILL fight in various career-destructive ways;”
since men resent it or women resent it?
You’re ignoring the tons of feminist women who defended this dude’s spreadsheet as a practical thing to do. Also, who DOESN’T love a good spreadsheet?
Why worry? Look women are going to complain – it is what brings them together – and the most common source of that complaint will be men. So just ignore it. They don’t know what they want, and turn their little hamster’s loose on everything. The best thing to do is smile – pat them on their head – throw them into bed and do what comes naturally. That is what they ultimately want anyway. So stop worrying about what they say – it’s mindless for the most part, and concentrate on the behavior that is rewarded by them. Being Alpha and not paying attention to their non-sense.
lzozozozozo
i luvs you allls o ye of little faith
to all the spinsters with cats
who teh fed tricked into spinsterhood/serving debt lxolllozlzl
to all the fanboys in ther single mom’s basements
whose dads they never knew because the fed tookawy fatehrhood lzozlzl
to all the broken familes
who were split up by the need to make two salaries to feed the kids
to all aging necon womenz celeberating secretive tapings of butthex without teh girlths conthent lzozllzlzozlzl they tircked you too
to all the spinster chix again i am sorry they sdesouled you
in asscokcing sessins drugged you up on prozac
told you to abort your kids no wonder your’re d[pressed and all fucjked up no lozlzlzlzling here
my heart goes out to you while tucker max & goldman sax laugh zlzolzlzl
too all the aborted fetushes we ask for forgiveness we deserve not and to all those tricked into aborting the gift of life lzozllzllzl we forgive u too and pray for teh fethuses, but not in school as prayer is illegal in school lozlzllzlz
to all those inthe rising genertaion who will have to pay off their parents cultural and monetary debts lzozlz war isn’t fun but it’s part of teh fed’s fiat bubble cycle lzozlzllz so like after th e country goes bust the war starts in the ultimate pump and udmp scheme you thought enron/worldcom/fannae mae was bad lolzozlzlz just you wait lzozlzlll i hope not and ai pray for peace lozlzlz maybe we can all learn to live and get along but i think we would have to start with truth and nobility and honor and ocurage and virtue and not with fiat debt and butthex lozlzlzl that’s just nmy gues from reading heroduts and the great boooks and classis in greek and latin zlzolzllzlzl
and the bible too about sodom and gomorroah did yuknow taht sodomycame form sodom and gonnoreah came from gommroah? lzozllz kidding about that second one i doubt it did but maybe who knows i have never had eitehr sodomy nor gonorreah and i ahve never been to sodom nor gomoorrah
sodom must;ve been a funny place lzolzlozolllzzll and a crazy party or two and the editor in chiefstress priscilla painton at simon and schuster would have fit right in publishing tucker max’s books yah i betin gmorrah they had a tower of babel with the ofices of simon and schuster at the top across the hall form the fed lzozlzlzllzlzlzlzllzlzlz
sometimes i wonder if poets and prophets can still change the world?
or have they trainde too, too many women to hate, and dumbed down and drugged up too many menz? have they destoryed too many fathers and killed to many families? have the y deocnstructed tyoo many books and spilled too much blood and aborted too many fetuthes as one is one too many. have they prescribed ritalin to too many cretaive sols in chool in prozac to too many who need to be depressed and face it when they abort fetuses as god gave us feelings and makes us not pay attention to boring stae corproate teachers as all creativity comes from not paying attention to the state lzozlzzll and now it is diagnoses as a diseas lzozlzlz.
lozlzlzzlzl
well juust wanted to say i luv u all and nice 2 know ya and welcomes abords lzozlzl
and 2 asnwer my own above questions
let me jsut say
teh great books
wouldn’t be great
if they weren’t immortal
and they offer us redemption
the moment we start living by tehir ideasl
and epic higher stories
so put down your hate and your secretive butthex tape
and pick up a cross
and come follow me
and let me shoulderyour burden
for my yoke is light
dante wrote la vita nuova–the new life
and it is time 4 u to find your new life
for to loseth one’s old way is to fuind the new path
so do not fear
lozlzlzlzlzlz omg wtf am i saying lzozlzlz
i almost blew my cover here as teh messiah lzozlzllll i hide it beind all my lzozlzllzlzlzlzlzlzlles but a couple of you ahve caught on lzozlzlzlzllzlzl