G.L.Piggy [at] gmail.com
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A commenter at Roosh’s blog wrote:
I’m currently back home in North America for a trip home. Last night I was out with my former football team for some beers. They are all jumping at the chance to give the one female in the bar attention (the waitress). It never ceases to amaze me how men will make desperate attempts in North America to flirt with a waitress.
I live in London and rarely, if ever, see this.
The interaction? She’s ball busting and acting like “one of the boys”. The guys amp up the flirtation, while my d is now soft. This sort of foul mouthed behaviour from women is just no longer attractive to me. It’s hard to believe I even found it attractive at one time, and probably explains why I never found any girls worth more of my time. The sarcastic, man-like jokes and behaviour are just not attractive and wear off.
This comment hits on many different levels for me. First, Hooters (the most extreme example of this) or other similar establishments don’t yet exist in London or anywhere else in Europe. There is something idiosyncratic to America which compels American men to pay for flirtation.
About seven years ago I went into a Hooters with about six of my friends from back home. My tab came to about $15. This was right after I had started waiting tables myself so I left the waitress a $5 tip. Good percentage. But my normally cheap friends scrounged up about $100 between them to tip the waitress who performed the same routine for our table that she did for all the others. I vaguely recall the scene but I remember them counting out money among themselves. What was going on in this little circle jerk was that the waitresses tip was being ratcheted up and up as my friends’ sentiment fed off of each other. They did the whole “aw hell it’s just money” thing and ended up dropping a ridiculous amount of money for crappy service. If you break it down, they were competing with each other for space in the waitresses’ memory.
But why are American so much more pathetic in this regard compared to European men?
First, the norms surrounding American tipping are at play. Tipping has taken root here in America for a couple of reasons. It fits into the Americans’ meritocratic ethos, and it also allows employers to get customers to pay the wages of employees. As tipping has become rooted in the culture the acceptable tip percentage and the different kinds of service that are considered “tippable” have creeped northward. To maintain status, customers don’t want to be perceived as being cheap.
It only makes sense that female waitresses stand to gain the most in such a system which is one reason that women flock to bar and restaurant work. The existence of a tipping norm benefits waitresses who are able to leverage up that custom using the same old evolutionary triggers of provider males trading baubles for sex. The saddest part is that the sex part is usually out of the question, but the provider males are just hopeful and/or overconfident. Lots of men jumping through the same evolutionary hoops is a veritable gold mine for the waitress or female bartender. They are drawing from this giant evolutionary well and laughing all the way to the bank on Monday.
To my knowledge, Europe doesn’t have these same opportunities. Pubs are basically local men’s clubs. And discos are the more desegregated drinking spots which makes it less conducive to these giant flirt-offs.