Here’s something that will never happen: a man who writes for the prestige press compiling a list of the athletes that his future wife should, in theory, worry he’ll run off with. Instead, because within SWPL circles the expression of any sort of masculine desire is a big no-no, we get turd pieces like the one from Chauncey Hollingsworth – fiancee of a Jezebel writer who stirred the pot by paying homage to Ryan Lochte.
Hollingsworth, who is a prime candidate for Bill Simmons’ Reggie Cleveland All-Stars, provides a list of five Olympians besides Lochte that he figures pose a huge threat to his relationship. Here are some of his self-deprecatory comments. In case you missed it in the piece, Hollingsworth has a paunch.
- For an average guy with bad eyes, bookkeeper arms, and a bit of a paunch, these are the Olympians who really scare me
- And he can cover 100 meters in the time it takes me to lace my shoes.
- He’s pure class—and you just can’t compete against that.
- It’s all I can do to rouse myself in the morning for a three-mile run, the minimum exercise necessary to keep me from looking like an adult toddler.
- While I inspire passersby to grimace uncomfortably as I huff and puff my way up moderate inclines, Pistorius inspires entire generations.
- While the rest of us wear special-sauce-stained t-shirts under our button-downs to disguise our bellies as they pooch out over our beltlines
- The prospect of being his first must be overwhelming…which is why my wife-to-be must never meet this guy.
- Just her punk shock of white blonde hair is cooler than my entire wardrobe.
- Rapinoe’s been dating the same Aussie soccer-player girlfriend for the last three years, showing that she’s serious both on and off the field
The author hammers home his SWPL cred by tucking a woman into the mix there at the end. He just seamlessly expresses his fear that a woman would snatch his girlfriend. We’re not supposed to think this odd. That would be uncivilized or something.
While I excoriate this man for supplicating himself, the response will be interesting because it undermines the initial point of his fiancee’s piece. The reasons that a man’s fiancee should fear his strong attraction to a female Olympian would be entirely flesh-related. No explanation needed.
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A negro, a cripple, and a lesbian. I’m actually surprised he had two relatively normal white dudes in there and not a North Korean or something. He’s engaged to a feminist, his name is Chauncey Hollingsworth, and he doesn’t like guns because he was mugged in a city where guns are illegal by a crook with a gun. What a tool.
I’d like to do Megan Rapinoe
I suspect extreme self-deprecation is regarded as a kind of peacocking by some SWPLs. Or lower-status SWPLs (like men) are expected to affirm their lower status, or be punished with even lower status, like not being permitted to be a SWPL any more.
needs a shot of testosterone like his olympian nightmares.
>He’s engaged to a feminist, his name is Chauncey Hollingsworth, and he doesn’t like guns because he was mugged in a city where guns are illegal by a crook with a gun. What a tool.
All that needs to be said, really
thras:
“I suspect extreme self-deprecation is regarded as a kind of peacocking by some SWPLs.”
could be an example of the handicap principle at work. but there is a danger inherent in such a reproductive strategy: at some point of self-handicapping (self-deprecating) you become truly handicapped and repulsive to the opposite sex. or: handicapping yourself only works when you have something of value to handicap.
“Or lower-status SWPLs (like men) are expected to affirm their lower status, or be punished with even lower status, like not being permitted to be a SWPL any more.”
a smart SPWL hides his incorrect views when doing so is personally advantageous. or he injects them like a truth serum into the veins of his yuppie hosts so slyly and subversively that they never catch onto the ruthless exposure of their hypocrisy. now what kind of person would do such a thing?
ps chauncey (lol. fukin faygala name) hollingsworth is a member in good standing of the castrati and influence peddler of powerlessness. he is a sickness, a virus. his type is to be avoided or mercilessly mocked.
I would like to see an article written by a masculine man describing which female Olympians are appealing. I’m genuinely curious.
“And he can cover 100 meters in the time it takes me to lace my shoes.”
That makes no sense.
I can probably do 100m dash in 12-13 seconds today: my high school time plus age. Thus I too can beat Chauncey Chamberlain and even Usain Bolt at 100m if he first has to lace his shoes and that task takes him longer than three seconds.
Lara: caster semenya /swoon
Men like self deprecation in women, although not about certain things which would make you seem unfeminine. Women don’t like it in men nearly as much.
Actually, Chauncey Hollingsworth is saying that it takes him 9-10 seconds to lace his shoes.
It still makes no sense as praise of a sprinter’s athleticism.
It takes my son 10 minutes to tie his shoes.
PA,
good point. if running at a faster pace than his shoe tying is something that his fiancee would find desirable in a mate (one among the many other traits he slobbers over), then pretty much everyone in the world meets that standard. if it takes you more than 10 seconds to tie your shoes it probably also takes you longer than 15 seconds to tie your shoes, and if that’s the case than Erin Gloria Ryan is down for a wide array of dong.
I didn’t click on the link. This write-up told me all I need to know. I already have food allergies. I don’t need to be sick again this week by reading self-emasculating words by someone named “Chauncey.”
read the comments from women on the Jezebel article regarding Lochte. isn’t this the same site always whining about “objectification” of women?
My 74-year old Dad wears those shoelace-less velrcro-strap sneakers. He doesn’t realize how goofy they look. But I guess, at 74, he doesn’t care. I’m sure he can strap them up faster than any man can run the 100 meter sprint.
SWPL feminist men like that are retarded. He could just do a snarky remark about how male Olympians are homosexuals and love the male form or something. But that would be homophobic so he goes with the lesbian hints! Idiot
What an asshole. Apparently they get points for not even aspiring to be men. His name is Chauncey. That is one of those names, where the guy might be some blonde-headed demon like Richard Branson; but these days, omg, i can’t believe it.
Then he threw in that woman and that threw me off. But it is odd. Your future wife is going to run off with a woman? Is his future wife going to fuck him up the ass as well.
The self-deprecation is the central theme though. It is very similar to that comic who was a topic, Louis CK. That was his whole schtick, and there is something there. Everyone can relate to being debased (we all get old and die). But the debasement (da basement? haha) is not the end all and be all.
Tying one’s shoes in, say, 11 seconds, is no great folly, by the way. However, that being said, I am able to lead my dog and carry a stick with one hand, all the while removing a pebble from the shoe with the other.
Sorry for the flurry of comments, but, this needs correction. The theme of those guys is *not* self-deprecation. It is beyond that. Deprecation (i just looked it up) means to de-preciate, to estimate as a little less, and can be part of a charming modesty. These guys are not doing that. They are sitting in the peanut gallery rubbing themselves and looking at images of real people.
His name is “Chauncey” and he wrote an article about the men most likely to cuckold him?
Fag. Fag. Fag.
Who left this comment on his piece???
“As long as you’re not marrying a feminist, you’ll probably be fine.”
Pure genius.
It’s not all in the name… Chauncey Billups laid waste to the Lakers during the 2004 NBA finals when he was named series MVP.
To be fair, Megan Rapinoe does kinda look like a guy in that picture. Plus Chauncey gets PC points for the whole lesbian thing.
My wife has had the hots for Tom Selleck since “Magnum, P.I.” first ran on TV. I don’t lose a whole lot of sleep over it. But then, unlike Chauncey, I have testicles.
@And Balls
That would be me.
I think Megan Rapinoe would look pretty hot if she’d get a feminine haircut and put on a dress.
Wow a lesbian dating the same girl for three years!! Can you say lesbian death bed?
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