Gucci Little Piggy

Kicking. Squealing.

How to Get Cheated On

I don’t know whether or not this particular scene in this video from a new reality TV show about the married life of one of the Jonas Brothers is staged.  I don’t believe that anyone can pull of phony betaness like this though, so I tend to think that Jonas is a real-life schlub whose interactions with his wife indicate that he is the chaser.  Regardless of how true the scene is, this happens in real life, and this Jonas brother is either actually a wimp or he’s OK with playing one on TV.  Either way, not good.  My advice for watching this:  puke and then rally.

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30 Responses to How to Get Cheated On

  1. Jack Schitz 10/01/2012 at 3:18 pm

    I hope the little bitch has got a good prenup.

  2. Alan B 10/01/2012 at 3:23 pm

    Wow.. He sounds like a chick. EXACTLY like a chick.. and she sounds EXACTLY like a guy. even has the whole “SIGH” and passive aggressive whine down and everything.
    Same words too..
    from him: Just listen to me, you dont have to talk, whats wrong, why wont you listen? omg, YOURE tired? babble babble
    from her: Im just so tired.. i had to make decisions today, all by myself, can i just change my clothes..

    The thing that makes me LOL, is these are a pair of millionaires.. He’s bitching that his brothers want him to sing, and he doesnt want to. OMG im just not good enough, all he wants from her, is “Babe, you can kick ass no matter what, now come here and let me suck your dick” the fact that she’s already got that mealticket means she doesnt HAVE to suck it tho. she just needs to shit out a couple of security checks to cement her life of luxury.

    Meanwhile, she’s tired from making decisions “all by herself, it was all on her”.. umm what fucking decisions does a 20something millionaire wife make other that what shoes, what lipstick?? all she wants is a backrub and an assbanging that dear old jonas cant provide

    that said, if he fucked her a few times like she was a dirty whore, she’d probably straighten up just a bit, but that would take a bit of backbone (and front bone too) and thats something them jonas boys aint got. You’ll see her in like 8 years, 2 kids, and banging some hiphop mogul. she’ll be a multimillionaire on her own, and didnt really have to put out to get there.. jonas will be washed up and paying thru the teeth cause everything he made had to be split between his brothers, managers, mom, dad, uncle jamal, and the wife took the rest..

    LOL

  3. Lara 10/01/2012 at 3:36 pm

    That was painful. She is disgusted by him.

  4. Camlost 10/01/2012 at 3:44 pm

    I hope this doesn’t destroy the affection that Sasha and Malia have for the music of the Jonas Brothers lol.

  5. Clarence 10/01/2012 at 3:53 pm

    That almost made that “Dear Woman” video seem “Manly” in contrast.

  6. OhioStater 10/01/2012 at 4:18 pm

    It seems like some men aren’t cut out for marriage. if her attraction peaks before she gets to know you, then you should avoid marriage.

  7. ve 10/01/2012 at 4:54 pm

    He’s a famous popstar. And she is a 6 at best. That says about all you need to know.

  8. Heartiste 10/01/2012 at 4:58 pm

    nauseating. when a “man”, and i use the term loosely in this case, becomes, or is, so repugnantly beta, the sexual polarity of the relationship actually reverses, and the woman becomes the man, the man the woman. this vid is a prime example of that in action. what makes it even worse is that she’s not particularly attractive; she has chihuahua face. this relationship is doomed, if it can still be called that, because odds are good she is fucking someone else on the side.
    the video also serves as proof that a man’s money and good looks mean NOTHING to a woman if he is a beta male in his soul. the alpha attitude is what women want and crave, first and foremost. everything else a man brings to the table is just gravy.

  9. Rifleman 10/01/2012 at 5:06 pm

    That was transparently fake. The Jonas kid looked like he was in acting class. It was scripted to appeal to the female viewers’ resentment for men who wont LISTEN TO THEM.

  10. E. Rekshun 10/01/2012 at 5:11 pm

    The whole interaction seems scripted.

  11. nick digger 10/01/2012 at 5:16 pm

    Why was he “waiting all day” for her to get home? Don’t they txt each other all day like other tweenagers?

  12. Rifleman 10/01/2012 at 5:21 pm

    Heartiste 10/01/2012 at 4:58 pm

    … the video also serves as proof that a man’s money and good looks mean NOTHING to a woman if he is a beta male in his soul. the alpha attitude is what women want and crave, first and foremost. everything else a man brings to the table is just gravy

    All this online homo erotic fascination with the “Alpha male” represents a male to male fetish.

    Women actually prefer a beta male over a male bonding Alpha douche or a wimpy omega.

    This Jonas kid is acting out omega-wimp tendencies. An alpha male would tell her to shut up, make dinner/bring bear. A. beta male would be quiet, listen to her, help her change into comfortable clothes and rub her back.

    Most women want that kind of guy not the needy Omega wuss or Alpha douche.

  13. Rifleman 10/01/2012 at 5:25 pm

    That would be “beer” not “bear”.Unless he was into big fat hairy fags.

  14. Heartiste 10/01/2012 at 5:31 pm

    “All this online homo erotic fascination with the “Alpha male” represents a male to male fetish.”

    that’s something gay men say who hope to convert straights.

    “Women actually prefer a beta male over a male bonding Alpha douche or a wimpy omega.”

    women prefer powerful, self-assured, overconfident men, which is a synonym for alpha men. only in your weird bizarro world are alpha males closeted gays.

    “This Jonas kid is acting out omega-wimp tendencies.”

    actually, he sounds more beta than omega. omegas are sexual market losers who wouldn’t even be in the company of women.

    “An alpha male would tell her to shut up, make dinner/bring bear. A. beta male would be quiet, listen to her, help her change into comfortable clothes and rub her back.”

    this false dichotomy must be strangely satisfying to you.

    “Most women want that kind of guy not the needy Omega wuss or Alpha douche.”

    alpha != douche. although it can. and women don’t seem to mind the douches either. see: hotchickswithdouchebags.

  15. C.R. 10/01/2012 at 5:56 pm

    Rifleman,

    No doubt there is a good chance that the entire thing was completely faked. But I’d like to make the point that if this type of content is made because it sells to women in the audience, then why wouldn’t Kevin Jonas apply similar thinking in his interaction with his wife? If such wimpy behavior appeals to a female TV audience why wouldn’t it also (in his distorted mind) appeal to the other audience here e.g. his wife?

    But alpha, beta, omega – these are just generalities. Women may “want” a beta male because they can dominate him, but do they respect him and do they find him appealing on any other level than convenient companionship? The beta man essentially takes the easiest road in order to fall into compliance with his woman. He appeases her rather than stands firm; he pleads rather than leads because she will certainly argue in the moment for his appeasement and leadership requires a bit of effort and some backbone. But these short term “wins” pile up and calcify into long-term losses of respect and dignity. And all of that is made possible because the man is brought up thinking that this is what women want.

    If we want to move beyond alpha and beta, I think a man should learn when to shrug and when to spring to action. In this instance, Jonas should not have acted so needy. He should have shrugged and certainly should not have chased. Again, if this isn’t real or if it isn’t a dramatization of past interactions between these two people, similar interactions occur all the time between married people.

  16. Lara 10/01/2012 at 6:01 pm

    Rifleman,
    I don’t think either of your two hypothetical reactions are good. She walked into the room with a bitchy attitude. Best to say “hi”, make your own dinner and go watch a ball game by yourself. He should sleep in his own bed, since not doing that is just giving up ground to her, but don’t touch her.

  17. RomanCandle 10/01/2012 at 6:16 pm

    Game is supposed to be sexist, but the ironic thing is that I feel a lot more sympathy for this woman now than I would have when I was in my beta days.

    Instead of seeing a nice guy who has a cold bitch for a wife, I see a woman with a pathetic and needy husband. I think she’s totally justified in acting the way she did.

  18. Jokah Macpherson 10/01/2012 at 7:40 pm

    She’s got a nice body but the face is pretty rough. So much for rock star status being the gateway to 10′s who go out of their way to please you.

    Also, constrast how she talks to the dogs with how she talks to her husband.

  19. FL 10/01/2012 at 11:50 pm

    “Also, constrast how she talks to the dogs with how she talks to her husband.”

    That set the whole tone for the conversation. Dude claimed he “never bothered” her with his problems. Clearly, by her reaction, this was a typical situation with him whining about the fact he feels inferior to his brothers, or whoever the hell is in his boy band.

    What was striking to me was just the whiny pitch he took. Didn’t even sound like a “hard day” to me. He is a professional “entertainer” for Christ sakes. He seems to want validation from her. YOU are a successful man. I don’t see what a marginally attractive female will be able to give you. A doggie treat like she gives her dogs?

    I wonder if this dude is worse or better than Mark Zuckerberg?

  20. SWPL bait 10/02/2012 at 3:46 am

    I need to go slap my Johnson against something so he regains some of the vitality this video just savagely drained out him.

    Someone made the astute observation of seeing this play out and feeling not a modicum of sympathy for the Jonas kid. True that. This attitude in a male is exceedingly more repulsive than if a woman were to play out the same exact interaction with his mannerisms and dialogue and tone, and it may well be impossible for me to view the guy as a victim here based on simple double-standards; a grown male just can’t act this way, ever.

    Kim K. may be a gold digger, but I presume her on-screen demeanor is at least becoming of a feminine woman and not some ball-busting harpy, or whatever behavior is contrary to the faggy Jonas deportment.

    Is the Jonas chick Latina or Eyetalian? Her face bears a subtle resemblance to a goat. Or a fox. Some type of mammal outside of human.

  21. dorsey47 10/02/2012 at 6:38 am

    As to the selling of the show by acting Beta, I don’t think the issue is what women want. In other words, I don’t think this show is produced by polling women about what they want in men. Women want what they are told to want. If you have any question about that, see marketing. Women don’t smoke? Call them freedom torches.

    This is marketing to women. It is feminism at play in entertainment. It is propaganda or ‘public relations’ if you find that term more acceptable. See ‘the century of self’ a documentary on the manipulation of Americans (mainly women) over the course of the last 100 years. Feminists want women to be dominant and men submissive. One of the best ways to sell things to women and children is to use celebrity.

  22. dorsey47 10/02/2012 at 6:40 am

    Women want what they are told to want. freedom torches:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torches_of_Freedom

    The century of self:

  23. William 10/02/2012 at 6:45 am

    lol at Rifleman who thinks beta is the “sweet spot” between alpha and omega.

  24. Phil 10/02/2012 at 7:35 am

    Is Rifleman a new name for Cane Caldo? Or maybe Rifleman is one of those clueless Protestant pastors.

  25. peterike 10/02/2012 at 9:16 am

    I can’t see this as being fake. If it’s fake, then they are both of them outstanding actors. The squirmy beta wussiness and disgusted female disdain are much too real.

    If Boy Jonas were an alpha just playing a beta, then he wouldn’t be married to this sub-par looking woman in the first place. He could probably pull a hundred much better looking women from any his concerts by barely lifting a finger, yet he’s married to this funny looking squirrel woman.

    For his sake, I hope he finds his inner male soon and dumps this woman before she gets him in kid-cuffs. But then again, I don’t care about what happens to him. But then again, I don’t like to see any man set himself up for a life of absolute hell, which is what he’s done.

    We need an intervention!

  26. Rifleman 10/02/2012 at 11:15 am

    William 10/02/2012 at 6:45 am

    lol at Rifleman who thinks beta is the “sweet spot” between alpha and omega.

    Beta is the normal guy.

    Alpha is the homo-erotic cartoon hero for sex-nerds. Omegas are ugly/misfit/losers/sex-nerds or wussbags at the very low end of the beta scale.

    This show is scripted/fake. It looked like a skit put on by High school kids.

  27. Rifleman 10/02/2012 at 11:41 am

    C.R. 10/01/2012 at 5:56 pm

    Rifleman,

    No doubt there is a good chance that the entire thing was completely faked. But I’d like to make the point that if this type of content is made because it sells to women in the audience, then why wouldn’t Kevin Jonas apply similar thinking in his interaction with his wife?

    Because he’s being marketed as the “heel” like in pro-wrestling. It’s attractive to women in this context to see a fellow female having to endure a relationship with a man who wont listen and connect to her.

    Then they want to see her change him, fix him and make him “work properly”. Compare it to why some men want to buy a vintage/broken motorcycle/car and then fix it up. Why not get a new one from the showroom?

    Women mainly just want compatible/compliant guys who are beta without being wimpy/needy. They want “nice guys” but not weakling/wimps who “act nice” to get approval.

  28. C.R. 10/02/2012 at 12:27 pm

    Rifleman,

    This guy is beta through and through. He is a famous celebrity yet was a virgin until he married this chick. While I see nothing inherently wrong with that, he’s set up to be a pining, needy beta just by that fact alone.

    And your view of the beta striving for alphadom as homo-eroticism sounds plausible, but you’re kind of just stating it without a solid argument to back it up. Is it homo-erotic to start working out if you do so because you see other guys getting in shape and reaping the benefits of that? I think the term “homo-eroticism” has lost all meaning then.

  29. Lara 10/03/2012 at 6:50 am

    I didn’t realize he was a virgin when he got married. I don’t believe he can turn this marriage around, even if he changed today, which I don’t see happening. He’d be better letting her go, which she desperately wants, even if she doesn’t say it, and starting over. He needs to work on himself as a man, without her.

  30. Cannon's Canon 10/03/2012 at 8:44 pm

    #BeardProblems

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