Gucci Little Piggy

Kicking. Squealing.

Beta Rob Kardashian

OneSTDV would appreciate this.  I’ll admit to having kept up with the Kardashians just enough to know that the kid brother, Rob, is a whining sniveling beta who is the product of his parents – a shrike of a mother who was unfaithful to the kid’s dad.  Kardashian, who is – to borrow Ron White’s term “looooo-a-a-a-a-a-a-d-e-e-e-e-e-d” – took to twitter to lament a bad breakup:

rk

I have sympathy for men of humble means who get blindsided.  I do not have sympathy for men of means who are oblivious enough to let this happen or, worse, who are so unaware that they’ll openly embarrass themselves on social media.

Though I’m only vaguely aware of Rob’s behavior on the show, he seems like an adult toddler who lashes out in various ways, and not in the healthy masculine ways that I could defend (getting arrested for a bar fight or something cool).  He has a woe-is-me attitude which is probably the function of having three older sisters and the aforementioned power mom.  So he’s sitting in limbo between seething hatred for his female family members but a sort of allegiance and naivete about women in general. It’s circular – like the plastic zip tie they use to neuter calves.  And that’s too much chaos for someone to handle, regardless of how much practice they’ve had at being a young money alpha.  His models taught him the wrong role – how to be a bitch.

Rob’s situation hits on recent research into sibling genetics:

Shorter women have more children. And while being on the low end of the measuring stick benefits them on an evolutionary scale, it keeps their brothers from attaining the trait that favors their reproductive success: average height. Researchers in the UK claim to be the first to demonstrate this new explanation for why height variation exists: That one’s height depends heavily on one’s genes, and that the genetic mechanisms for determining height are similar in men and women, preventing each gender from being able to evolve independently toward their sex-specific ideals.

Rob Kardashian has attractive sisters (OK, two out of three ain’t bad).  The genetic pool that allowed for them to be attractive and feminine looking also cursed young Rob.  Besides the psychological trauma he’s probably suffered by being around three she-wolves his whole life, Rob is fixed with non-alpha (male) genes.  He doesn’t seem to have inherited the intelligence or drive of his late father (Robert Kardashian, O.J. Simpson confidant and attorney), so he’s in over his head.  He’s a prominent beta face in an alpha world.

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40 Responses to Beta Rob Kardashian

  1. anti-racist 12/04/2012 at 1:07 pm

    There is no worse fate then being the mediocre talentless sone of an intelligent and hard working man

  2. anonymous 12/04/2012 at 1:11 pm

    at the same time?

  3. peterike 12/04/2012 at 1:16 pm

    I don’t know a thing about Rob Kardashian, but I wonder what it’s done to his psyche to see his sisters being banged by an endless stream of black men.

  4. anti-racist 12/04/2012 at 1:17 pm

    most women who are attractive at least fantasize of “being banged by an endless stream of black men”

  5. Sparks (@SparksPhilly) 12/04/2012 at 1:29 pm

    Rob also looks like he got some prole-looking arm tattoos in an attempt to make himself look tougher.

  6. SOBL1 12/04/2012 at 1:35 pm

    Mama Kardasian seems like the Don Corleone of that family. She keeps serving up more of her kids to the meat gridner of the enterainment complex.

    Anyone else find it comically coincidental that the thinnest of the Kardasian sisters is the one with the white husband?

  7. peterike 12/04/2012 at 2:11 pm

    I learned something new today!

    “[Rob Kardashian] the 25-year-old reality star turned sock designer…”

    There’s a career arc for you. What’s next? Puppeteer?

  8. Fiddlesticks 12/04/2012 at 2:11 pm

    Probably a publicity stunt. He obviously has no shortage of natural alpha bros, at the very least.

  9. heartiste 12/04/2012 at 2:12 pm

    “I don’t know a thing about Rob Kardashian, but I wonder what it’s done to his psyche to see his sisters being banged by an endless stream of black men.”

    Men who have been through that id-grinder typically wind up one of two ways:
    - raging sociopaths who run through women like they are boxes of tissues.
    - mewling manboobs who self-flagellate as penance for imaginary sins they must have committed against the world.

    Obviously, you’d want to fall into category one before category two, but the best path in life is to not have whore skanks for sisters as role models and tormentors.

  10. nikki sixx jr. 12/04/2012 at 3:11 pm

    guy, that can only be done by bringing back physical discipline for these shenanigans.

  11. anti-racist 12/04/2012 at 3:13 pm

    rob has done more with his life than i ever will

  12. nick digger 12/04/2012 at 3:44 pm

    @heartiste, “mewling manboobs who self-flagellate for imaginary sins”
    His sins are not imagined. His father helped OJ get away with double-murder. If you freeze-frame the courtroom video when the “Not guilty” verdict was read, Kardashian’s face looked like he had seen a ghost (or maybe the train of blacks on his daughters just flashed before his eyes). He knew what he had just done.

  13. Camlost 12/04/2012 at 3:50 pm

    I refuse to watch anything featuring a Kardashian, especially that she-thing that Lamar Odom married.

  14. PA 12/04/2012 at 3:54 pm

    Three generations ago Kardashians’ great-grandparents game to America to provide a better future for their posterity. If they could see the Kardashian girls now, they’d have stayed in Armenia, Turks and all.

    A friend of mine is married to an Armenian chick. If I want to set her off ranting, I just mention Kim & Sis’s (or should I say K.K.K. & bros, LOL)

  15. Lara 12/04/2012 at 4:00 pm

    I feel bad for him in a way. The men who are most likely to get cheated on are rich betas, (especially if it is inherited money) who shoot for women out of their league. If he went out with a woman in his league, he probably do okay.

  16. C. Tusten Houchin 12/04/2012 at 4:29 pm

    Don’t EVEN know where to start. As a Chritian and a moralist, I am still disappointed in the way the “religious right” seems to want to paint a white picket fence of self righteous morality around ALL issues. But not like being told right and wrong in simplistic terms is different than wondering why society allows this shit to be put out. Oh, I WATCH it – but Gawd what a waste of “us.”

  17. E. Rekshun 12/04/2012 at 4:43 pm

    His squeeze cheated w/ 20 other dudes! The young Kardashian should get himself tested asap!

    This guy got his ass kicked in a charity boxing event that was filmed and ran on one of the Kardashian’s TV shows a couple of years ago. Kardashian’s opponent wanted to take the kid’s head off. Kardashian thought they were just going to dance around and play fight for a couple of rounds. It probably was the first fight he was ever in and the first time he ever got punched in the face. I’ll give him credit for getting in the ring though.

  18. rob'smicropeen 12/04/2012 at 6:00 pm

    lara: “If he went out with a woman in his league, he probably do okay.”

    if he understood female nature and had some knowledge of rudimentary game, he’d do ok. at the very least, he’d know when to jettison slore baggage before her cock count hit 20+.

  19. S_McCoy 12/04/2012 at 8:40 pm

    I don’t know anything about him, I just know about his coal train sisters, but really, what does he have to be embarrassed about? Some mercernary slut took advantage of him? He probably could have done without posting it but other than that what did he do wrong? Be a nice guy? Probably not but still.

    She’s the disloyal one, he got tooken for a ride but it happens every now and then.

  20. Anonymous 12/04/2012 at 8:59 pm

    He’s a white guy that can’t keep a woman at the same time his sisters fuck and endless stream of black guys. I bet most of the 20 guys (who admits that?) fucking Rita Ora are black.

  21. chicnoir 12/04/2012 at 9:11 pm

    This is so made up Chuck. I can’t believe you believe this. Rob is just whoring for attention and a cover or two of OK magazine.

    Stop falling for these fake trash celebs manufactured drama. What women would cheat with 20 guys in the same circle??? Come chuck, you are smarter than this. There was no way it wouldn’t get back to him and Rita had to know that. Rob just wants attention and a sit down interview on Entertainment Tonight with Mary Heart.

    I can only imagine Elizabeth Taylor up in heaven trying to explain modern Hollywood to Dorthy Dandrige and Betty David.

  22. chicnoir 12/04/2012 at 9:13 pm

    Ron designed or should I say license his name to a sock company.

    Fun fact, from that deal he makes more than your average office slub or Plummer.

  23. Lara 12/04/2012 at 9:17 pm

    Most plumbers I know don’t get cheated on like that.

  24. Freezing Man 12/04/2012 at 10:05 pm

    peterike said…

    but I wonder what it’s done to his psyche to see his sisters being banged by an endless stream of black men

    ———————————

    I’ve always wondered what it’s like for those brothers and fathers who have to see their sister/daughter hanging off the arm of some negro buck,

    Me? I would die. In a way, I’d rather have my putative daughter die clean than debase herself in such a way. It must be an emotionally shredding experience…

  25. Freezing Man 12/04/2012 at 10:12 pm

    Chic Noir said…

    “I can only imagine Elizabeth Taylor up in heaven trying to explain modern Hollywood to Dorthy Dandrige and Betty David.”

    ______________________

    Lol. Chic, you’re my favorite black girl. Now, you and me would be some interracial action I can approve of.

    You into Englishmen?

  26. Freezing Man 12/04/2012 at 10:23 pm

    Haha, get this: Back in August, Kim said her brother needs to settle down with a nice Persian/Armenian girl instead of the girls he usually dates-

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2242361/Rob-Kardashian-splits-Rita-Ora-tweets-cheated-20-dudes.html

    “While the reality star’s family had welcomed Kim’s new boyfriend Kanye West into their clan, she never appeared to warm to her brother’s girlfriend and caused controversy in August when she declared he needed to find an Armenian girlfriend instead.

    Kim tweeted: ‘When out to dinner w my brother @RobKardashian every gorgeous person Persian/Armenian girl stares at Rob! I think that’s what he needs in his life!’”

    ——————————-

    Coalburning for me, but not for thee, my dear brother.

  27. C.R. 12/04/2012 at 11:20 pm

    please, chic…this dude has little celebrity cred to waste – he’s not going to fabricate this kind of incident in order to get publicity. he gets enough collateral publicity anyway from his sisters. it fits his persona anyway. he’s a beta bitch.

  28. youngreact 12/05/2012 at 12:16 am

    “he’s a beta bitch.”

    OK good. I’m not the only person who uses this phrase (to myself, not out loud) when mindlessly watching sleazy reality TV or reading celebrity crap.

  29. Opiumhead 12/05/2012 at 12:28 am

    @youngreact:

    Seeing as you admittedly spend your time watching reality tv and reading celebrity gossip, you should say that phrase while looking into a mirror.

  30. Rifleman 12/05/2012 at 1:41 am

    Another example of internet sex nerds doing the ole change up.

    This is not “beta” male behavior. This is omega behavior.

    If he’s beta what are you guys? alphas? omegas?.

    Beta has become a slur among the online sex nerds for some reason. It seems to me to be part of a game of self deception by omegas.

    Look, beta is just a term for NORMAL guys. They have a girlfriend or wife and live a normal guys life. Odd balls, submissives, wimps are omegas. Stop shifting things around.

  31. PA 12/05/2012 at 5:38 am

    Rifleman, don’t get too hung up on the terms. If you want a precisely graded sociosexual classification, you may like Vox Day’s alpha-sigma system.

    Here, the alpha-beta thing is binary by design. Girls like you, or they don’t. It’s by design both a situational system as well as absolute. And it emphasizes the man’s alpha or beta state of mind, out of which all else comes. An omega is simply someone who is completely out of play.

  32. chris 12/05/2012 at 8:43 am

    “If he’s beta what are you guys? alphas? omegas?.”

    Aspiring alphas?

  33. anti-racist 12/05/2012 at 10:09 am

    I would love to be robs bottom-boy.

  34. chicnoir 12/05/2012 at 11:23 am

    *Betty Davis*

    As to Kim K “coal burning” and not wanting her brother too, IIRC Rob dated Chloe’s best friend. I saw two episodes of Chloe’s show(don’t judge me) . Women can pull the whole do as I say, not as I do too.

    It is my belief the reason why these shows do so well is because of the “stars” glamour” . Look at how well dressed and made up Kim K and her sisters are. You can see the same thing on those crazy VH1 shows. Women and even men like to look at glamorous high maintenance looking women.*

    Now compare those women to many of the Hollywood actresses and see what you get. Women who are so unnaturally thin their faces take a beating only to be puffed up with fillers and other strange crap. Have you seen how some of those women look when they go out for a cup of coffee?

    Can you picture Kim K going out for coffee in dirty flip flops and badly fitted jeans?

    * girls on Instagraham posting pic after pic of themselves glam looking.

  35. chicnoir 12/05/2012 at 11:34 am

    Speaking of glamour…. Twitter and TMZ killed what little glamour Hollywood had.

  36. Lara 12/05/2012 at 11:39 am

    Chic,
    You have a point about Kim. She does seemed to be poised and pulled together. I also get the impression she is intelligent, just from the little bit I’ve heard from her. I could do without the bathroom bikini shots she once put up on Twitter. That makes any movie start seem desperate for attention.

  37. anti-racist 12/05/2012 at 12:04 pm

    I’m an omega male, as our most low achieveing incapable white boys. I will never know the touch of a woman.

  38. gx1080 12/05/2012 at 3:53 pm

    On one hand, I really don’t care about yet another omega that makes public his lack of manhood.

    On the other, damn. No man deserves to be raised by the she-wolves. Almost feel bad for him, he seems like a suicide/shooting spree candidate.

  39. E. Rekshun 12/05/2012 at 6:16 pm

    @Freezing Man: “I’ve always wondered what it’s like for those brothers and fathers who have to see their sister/daughter hanging off the arm of some negro buck”

    What about the flip side. I wonder what black fathers and brothers think and feel when their attractive black daughter/sister gets involved with a good-looking, successful White guy. It’s got to be the regular violent hatred X 100!

  40. Eric 12/05/2012 at 6:29 pm

    Rob would be better off steering clear of the show completely. IIRC, at least one of Jenner’s kids refuses to be part of the show. IIRC, too, at least one of Ozzy Osbourne’s kids refused to be part their reality show.

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