Gucci Little Piggy

Kicking. Squealing.

Epic Feminist Fail

Lauren Silberman failed miserably in her attempt to become an NFL kicker at combine tryouts.  Jezebel attempts to downplay Silberman’s failure by insinuating that the 28 year-old MIT grad whose only kicking experience came in club soccer, was “forced to quit tryouts” after an injury.  Here’s the kick:

USA Today reported that Silberman had a hard time figuring out how to stand the ball on the tee.  She also barely warmed up and took only a 6 yard drop instead of the standard 10.  Worse, Silberman asked some of the men at the combine how to approach the ball.  Silberman spun better than she kicked:

“You know, the distance wasn’t there, but hopefully the scouts will notice my technique,” she said.  “It’s not always about length.” 

That’s what she said. 

There’s another angle to this story besides Silberman either being out solely for media attention – she’s an entrepreneur of some sort – or just being clueless and riding the wave of Go Grrl-ism that causes many women to reach for things that are far out of their grasp.  Like the annual panoply of Pink that taints NFL attire, the NFL’s promotion of Silberman was a marketing ploy. The league charges combine participants $275 to test their mettle.  They have little time to review kickers’ chops.  Jane McManus of ESPNW briefly noted that the NFL promoted Silberman’s attempt, the circus surrounding which involved several TV interviews. Had Silberman been successful in any way, you can bet the NFL would have been there to trumpet her achievement. 

Even if one woman came along that could make an NFL or even a D1 NCAA roster, how impressive would that be?  I’ll admit that it’s a bit ridiculous for me even to get roped into the discussion.  Doing so lends credence to the argument that a kicker is on the same level as the other NFL players.  As if a female kicker would be on the same plane as Tom Brady or Adrian Peterson.

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30 Responses to Epic Feminist Fail

  1. PA 03/04/2013 at 4:20 pm

    Of course a kicker has to have a strong leg, which she doesn’t. And not just for line drives but in the case of field goals a kicker has to kick the distance WHILE kicking a high arc to clear the defenders at the line of scrimage.

    Other qualifications of a (field goal) kicker: stone cold ability to keep a cool head under pressure and not choke (on this note, are professional pool/billiard tournaments unisex? Why or why not?).

    For all place kickers: you gotta have a rudimentary ability to to run, block, tackle, and take a hit. I’m not even gonna go into ability to execute trick plays.

  2. Tired Guy 03/04/2013 at 4:44 pm

    Thank you for my daily dose of humor, I am forwarding this to everyone I know. That video is hilarious!

  3. culdesachero 03/04/2013 at 5:02 pm

    “While this was Silberman’s first time competing in football on a professional level, the staff behind the regional combines do not regret bringing her to the New York Jets practice field.”

    Competing at a professional level? This confirms my theory that Jezzie writers don’t even understand the concept of sport. Maybe she can kick a ball 60 yards but that stat alone is as far from competing at any level as throwing a strike on a clear day with no batter is competing in baseball.

  4. Camlost 03/04/2013 at 5:06 pm

    It’s only the Jets, they’re so disorganized that they probably didn’t realize that this “tryout” was a dumb idea. They certainly didn’t hear about the laughable Katie Knida fiasco at the University of Colorado a few years earlier, either:

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2004/writers/rick_reilly/02/16/hnida/

  5. nikcrit 03/04/2013 at 5:31 pm

    They were discussing this Silberman debacle this morning on a local rock station that features morning sports chat with Steve Czabe; h is take: the NFL has nothing to do during its downtime and concocts ridiculous P.R. stunts, such as this one to seem inclusive and expand the fan-base; problem is, of course, they didn’t do any vetting whatsoever beyond noting that Silberman is sightly and wholesome ——- Czabe argued that with even a half-hour’s more scouting by the NFL’s p.r. dept, they could’ve come up with a more credible female athlete; her absolute lameness (i believe her two kickoff attempts were for 19 and 13 yards), only made crystal clear the p.r. goal and ridiculed the build-up that this was going to be a legitimate ‘tryout.’

  6. nikcrit 03/04/2013 at 5:36 pm

    oh, uhhmmm, I see C.R. duly noted my second-hand analysis of ‘why’ Silberman was even out there.
    This kind of stuff doesn’t really bother me unless I bother to think too much about it. Probably concocted by the second or third tier of front-office p.r. dept workers, thus the foolhardy attempt to promote this venture without providing cover for its overall lameness.

  7. E. Rekshun 03/04/2013 at 5:58 pm

    “It’s not always about length.” Te he.

  8. Jonah Gouldstein 03/04/2013 at 6:19 pm

    Touchdown! Jews are awesome! Oh, wait…

  9. A 03/04/2013 at 6:35 pm

    Every time I think of feminism from here on out I’m going to have that video clip playing in the back of my mind.

  10. Tamburlaine 03/04/2013 at 6:40 pm

    Clearly, the social construct of athletic differences between the sexes was too much for her to overcome. We should probably blame the patriarchy.

  11. Audacious Epigone 03/04/2013 at 6:41 pm

    Not a terrible onside kick attempt, though. It might have made it just over the first line of the hands-team, and it floated long enough for the strong side to contest it, hah.

  12. asdf 03/04/2013 at 6:52 pm

    Even if she could kick, would anyone want her to be the last man trying to tackle the kick returner. That’s part of the job too baby.

    I can personally point to a situation last year where if the kicker didn’t make a tackle my team would not have won the super bowl.

  13. Rifleman 03/04/2013 at 7:00 pm

    Tells you something about our society that being unable to kick a ball is worth more attention than graduating from MIT.

    It was a stunt obviously. She wasn’t remotely qualified unlike many other women with a soccer background who if trained could kick the ball farther and accurately.

    Plus, I think the NFL was pandering not to diversity feminists but to male football fans who want their women to be cheerleaders and groupie whores for the players. They like watching an “epic fail” of a female.

    “That doesn’t look like a kitchen to me!” lol, hahahaha. “Make me a sandwich honey”

    It’s a male homosocial environment with all the towel snapping and crotch grabbing you would expect of these types – the bros and dudes and brosuphs

  14. Woodshed_rabbit 03/04/2013 at 7:55 pm

    If there were one playing field in sports, a lot of bs cold be laid to rest.

    And it would be interesting to see if there might be any fields in which women cold compete. Ping pong ?

    Race car driving. Diving is not a sport, nor is rhythmic gymnastics. Nor is gymnastics for that matter. Uh, what else. What about sailing. Perhaps women’s people skills might be an advantage there. Curling?

    These high schoolers walking around in their track suits and tight vaginas, as if they are athletes. They have the attitude of the high school athlete – the perfect tall posture and blank look on the face.

    Race car driving or sailing are sports wanting what i call operational intelligence – no asian ladies please !

    Ping pong is mostly dexterity, with arm reach counting too. Curling would be one hundred percent dexterity; maybe there is their playground.

  15. Woodshed_rabbit 03/04/2013 at 8:12 pm

    Is it not the case that guys (“guys”) without penises, but otherwise womanly, have an opportunistic advantage – given arbitrary gender distinctions.

    Perhaps there should be a third class. In the Olympics. If the clitoris (accent on the second syllable) is – when aroused – longer than one inch; and or the penis, when flaccid, less than whatever.

    Get ready

  16. thordaddy 03/04/2013 at 8:13 pm

    This isn’t a PR stunt to honestly grow one’s business. A “liberated” economic system demolishes the idea of target market. Instead, this is the “self-annihilation” of an entity in service of a diversifying market. The NFL is prime example of an entity seeking “radical autonomy”‘ through and through and SELF-annihilating in the process. So now the NFL is no longer a competition won and lost by the best in athleticism, but rather, an entertaining spectacle chock full of self-annihilating acts (wearing pink, entertaining female participation, decimating the traditional QB archetype, referees determining winner and loser with a throw of a flag, declaring textbook tackles as illegal, etc.) in service of a diversifying market. This is the Liberal infection of everything it touches.

  17. Woodshed_rabbit 03/04/2013 at 8:42 pm

    for what it is worth, 360s front and rear wheel drive, in traffic

    480s with the old bitch, in traffic – yeah, i am that asshole

  18. Woodshed_rabbit 03/04/2013 at 8:44 pm

    meant to say 540 – math skillz have slowed on down

    funny thing is, 480 is closer to the truth – last part of that turn is hard to make

  19. Steve Sailer 03/04/2013 at 8:50 pm

    Wasn’t this the plot of an episode of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” a few years ago? The two male goofballs decide to try out for the Eagles, so the more sensible woman character goes along to show them up, and she’s doing better than them until she blows out her knee attempting a punt.

    Or something like that.

  20. Woodshed_rabbit 03/04/2013 at 8:56 pm

    those numbers are on the subject of operational intelligence

    do a 360 in your car – torque and tires and friction, and at speed – try it with from wheel drive – the emergency brake for the first half and then release and spin the tires for the second

    these numbers and the concept of operational intelligence, i bring up, because women cannot drive

  21. SOBL1 03/04/2013 at 9:03 pm

    Just about every sports site I went to today mentioned how this was an awful PR stunt. I dont think this was fooling anyone except maybe the dumbest mouthbreatehrs and Jezebel writers.

  22. asdf 03/04/2013 at 10:20 pm

    Here’s a question for the crowd:

    Why does The Onion hate Joe Flacco so much?

  23. thordaddy 03/04/2013 at 11:50 pm

    This absolutely was not a bad PR stunt if the clamoring for a female on an NFL football field only intensifies. And with this epic fail, it certainly will. Those at the top of the NFL food chain understand what needs to be done to service a diversifying market AND MAKE OUT LIKE BANDITS RIGHT NOW. They must diversify the product as shamelessly as possible. They must make that which defines professional American football and slowly over time create something new and different to serve what now is no longer a “target market,” but a diversified market.

    Pink accessories
    “Liberated” QBs
    AA coaches
    “Illegal” textbook tackles
    Female players
    Openly homosexual players
    Referees with win/lose power in a flag
    etc…

  24. Joe Bloegh 03/05/2013 at 9:25 am

    Thordaddy, you’re right; there’s literally almost nothing for the men anymore, most prominently metaphored by the universal “Pink craze” in football, baseball, WWE, etc to “help with breast cancer”(i.e. CA$H IN) but NO BLUE for prostate cancer(the male cancer), even though breast cancer already gets a RIDICULOUSLY higher amount of funding over the latter cancer(hence why it’s a CA$H IN). No, us guys(especially white guys(oops)) are great for being shamed in TV ads and well, just about everything on TV.

  25. Drama 03/05/2013 at 10:51 am

    Wow, 15 yards. She might make a good onside kick specialist except everyone would know it was coming.

  26. Oh Right 03/05/2013 at 4:18 pm

    Who would you rather have making an onside kick: Her or Sebastian Janikowski?

  27. Joe Bloegh 03/05/2013 at 4:30 pm

    Silberman….that almost sounds like a parody of a typical ultra stuck-up, living-on-daddy’s-money, NYC-Princess, bra-burning bitch name; the sylables combined just ooze pretention & narcissism(I imagine a lispy, helium-altered voice very enthusiastically pronouncing them, with extra-special emphasis on the SIL part).

  28. map 03/05/2013 at 6:47 pm

    Meh…she kicks lie a girl.

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